why?

Ever since Silas could talk, he always had to know why. You tell him to do something, you always know the reply you'll get. "Why?" After replying his first why, he'll ask it again. Most of the times, I manage to satisfy him but sometimes I get totally lost of answers. "Just because Silas!"
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Today brings to us a new month. I mean, dong. It's May already. Well, this morning I was thinking about what I went through during April. It's time to reflect..

Just because..

You know something. I once was just like Silas. Circumstances come and I'm sitting there wondering why, why, and why me! Yes, and only focusing on that one thing because I want to know why. But you know, I learned that I don't need to know the why of things. Firstly, cause it might hurt me more. Plus, I'm not meant to know. Secondly, because knowing the why of things is not going to change anything!

I also realized that being depressed totally sucks. Seriously. I'm not rebuking those who are 'emo' all the time, because.. Well, look. They have worst problem then I do. I'm not kidding. Once upon a time, Hazel was emo a lot of times because someone didn't talk to me for 1 day? eh. Those days, I seriously had nothing better to do. And I repeat, I have such a tiny weeny problem compared to others. There's so much more in life.

Of Teamwork

April brought something very important into many of our lives. 9 of us especially. I mean, it took up a lot of our time and all. But, it's fun and it gets us excited. I respect you all for always trying your best. And for discipline and teamwork. Man, with no adult around during practice, we could easily fool around. Indeed. But somehow there was always this tension inside of us to practice. In those practices and times we spent together, I not only learned how to cheer, make poms, and change into costumes with giggling and screaming girls behind curtains, but also to respect each one of you as someone special. Everyone counts. Without even one of you, the routine would be incomplete. There needs to be teamwork, before we can succeed.

Bye Bye

As every month comes to an end, I hate to think that it's one month closer to November. Not that I hate November, 'ello my birthday's in that month. ooh, Zoe. I will you so much, you'll never be able to tell how much. But you wanna know something? Something that keeps me going. I'll never have to say bye, cause you'll always be in my heart, dear. And even if we might not be able to see each other again, we will in heaven. :) It won't be hard to find you, you'll be the prettiest angel there, the one that looks like me.. ;D

oh, and in April I wrote my first will. hehe.

When Things Happen...

When your world crashed down in one minute...
...and you wondered why this had to happen to you

When everything seem to go the way you didn't want it to go...
...but you can't do anything about it except let it happen

...and you keep on asking why...
..but you don't get any reply..

why?

It's like I lost a friend..
One which I treasured so much and trusted
And I felt free to talk with that friend

Then 'whoosh' and my friend is gone
and we become enemies day after day

Then I get this other friend
And we talked and became good friends
The 'whoosh' again
And I don't want to be like my other friend
And start becoming cold
And lose this friend...

but what am I suppose to do?
People can't control feelings
I wish we could...

And then I remember
God made everything happen for a purpose
So thank you God for letting this happen
Even if it doesn't make sense...

We give thanks
We give praise
For we know that all things work together for our good

We give thanks
We give praise
For by faith, we know Your grace will see us through