Sorry its been almost a month since the last I updated. Hello, April! Its the 20th already! I swear I always feel like my mindset is, "Time runs by too fast, I need more time!" but guess what?! We all are given the same amount time! If some amazing, inspiring people have enough time to do all that they want to, I have enough time to do all I need and want to do as well.
Well guess what, I have news! My sophomore year in college is almost over! Can you believe it?! Because I can't. I can't believe I'm telling people, I only have two years left because it still feels like I'm a freshman going, oh yea. I'm here for all four years. Especially since I'm like one in a handful of the international students that are actually here for four years. So I'm always like, "Oh yea, I'm a four year student." and then it dawns on me, well I actually only have two years left now.
Truth is, as I reach this midpoint, I don't want it to end. I love college life. I want this semester to never end. It's been the best semester yet. I love the freedom I have as a student. I love having a full semester when I'm finally a legal adult. I love how spontaneous I can be. I love making my own plans. I love going to lunch with my girls, getting a call from another good friend, and spontaneously going to a softball game with her and two little children. I love meeting new people, meeting up with different people every week, strengthening different relationships. I love playing soccer. I love my church family and all the families that have adopted me. I love football after church. I love skating outings, hikes, trips downtown. I love my work, spending afternoon hours in the sun with cute children and some great college girl company. Gosh, I just love college.
No, I don't want this semester to end. I don't want to reach that milestone called "halfway through". I don't want to go back to Malaysia for the whole summer. I like it where I'm at right now.
But then, enters, God. And once upon a time, I told Him to drive. I told him that my plans aren't concrete because a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his path. I told him, I would follow Him. I told him, I would go wherever He wanted me to go.
So I've been struggling with this the past month or so since booking my tickets and making the final preparations to do so. Well, the other day, God reminded me of a story in the Bible. The story of Moses.
So he grows up in Egypt. In the King's palace. Royalty. Paradise, possibly. And then, he ends up murdering someone and running away. He ends up in this wilderness but he loves it! He's just chilling, watching sheep, and falls in love, gets married, starts a family. One day, typical day, he suddenly sees a burning bush and God tells him, "Go back to Egypt!" Yea, that land he ran away from. The last place he wants to go back to after what happened back there. And he's like, are you crazy God?! He makes excuses, "God, I can't speak." God's like, so what. Aaron will come with you. And so Moses has no choice but to obey God and return to Egypt.
Maybe, in many different ways, I'm sort of in the same boat as Moses. I'm like, really God?! Malaysia. Again? I don't want to go back. And he's like, you're living in your comfort zone. You're happy where you're at, but I want to bring to higher ground. You may want to stay right where you're at right now, but I promise you this higher ground will be better. It may not seem like that, and I know its going to be hard for you, but guess what, that's what I have installed for you in this period of your life. Trust me, and go.
Go back to Malaysia.
... and so that's what I find myself doing.