My Life...my Changing Life

A changing LIFE, it just changed. Please take the time to read it again.

Life is hard for me...it's not easy being a MK, TCK, or PK, is it? If you know what I'm talking about, then you know a little bit about how my life is. It's hard. I often think, how come I'm here...how come I'm living in this crazy world? Negative thoughts run through my head...I just sometimes hate my life! But God has put me in this world for a reason and a purpose...and He also has put you in this world for a destiny too. I would just like to share a little bit a my life with you...

As you all know by my accent and my way of life...I'm obliviously from America. I loved my life there...my friends, my school, my church. It was wonderful...the fun I had in school, at my friend's house, and playing in the snow. I thought life was wonderful...brilliant. Maybe, I was wrong...

Then one day, my whole life crashed. I cried, I broke down...I was sad. Miserable. Horror filled my mind...in two weeks, or even two days...I might never see my best friend forever! It was horrible...maybe the worst day of my entire life. My family was ordered out of the United States...out of my beautiful world in Maine...

The next two weeks were a blur in my mind. I remember going to school on the next day and crying in front of the class. When I came home all that I did was pack and unpack. My friends cried, even though they tried not to show those tears.

The hardest part, especially for my sister, was her sad small party. We didn't do anything. Not even give her a present...Mom said we'll give her one in Malaysia because in two days we would be leaving and she didn't want to pack again. I heard my sister crying that night...it was sad.

Saying good bye to my best friend, Rebecca, was hard also. We tried not to cry as we looked at each other for the last time. Rebecca, I miss you.

But adjusting to Malaysia was the hardest. I got culture shock in my own hometown. It was hard to adjust. Hard to make friends...but soon people became friendly, and said Hi at random times, like Roberts and Sarah Ti, who helped me in my work, and just talked to me, and I adjusted, but I didn't forget those times when I cried....

And then the anger I had. So angry that I didn't get to stay on. That I couldn't go to fun town and ride the dragons descend. I would be tall enough now. It was so sad! Just before I left I went and I was two inches short! That was when I was 10. And that I didn't get to go Bangor and win a art medal for my school. The whole school was looking forward for me going to 5th grade cause that meant I could go and win a medal. I had always won art for the academic fair. It wasn't fair! That I didn't get to stay on in The Master's House and go into 5th grade. 5th grade was like the major change in the school. It wasn't fair! I would have been one of the older ones. More people would trust me...I would get to know the older ones better.

Then when I came back, I experienced unfairness by my sister. We had been so close for the one we "really" home schooled...and then, new school...new friends...new experience...no more sister. A sadness overwhelmed me. I was SAD. Finally I posted a post and people comforted me...my sister said sorry.

What really hindered me from getting happy was anger. It was all resolved yesterday, yesterday totally rocks! I had a totally cool day! And chapel went really well. I got rid of the anger and fear I had. And I realized that people DO care for me. And that it wasn't God's fault that I had to leave Malaysia, it was God's PLAN!

After adjusting to school, I felt so close to home that I even shared my secrets with a lot of people. My closest friends, at Broga, all piled up on someone's bed late one night and shared our secrets. We talked and talked till 12 am the next morning. Next day, we talked some more. Not my fault, Beeps wanted too! And more and more. And then 'it' happened... and it almost destroyed my whole personal relationship. Yep, I was upset. But then, it was God's purpose and it is resolved...

And I'm happy...even if sometimes I feel down, I'm happy. I have decided that even if I've adjusted to Malaysia, I will always miss my beautiful home in Maine, my friends, my church, and my schools, but I will be where God wants me to be. And that's Malaysia for this season. It was God's purpose!

I love you, those who are in Maine, and I love you, those who are in Malaysia. Even if life is hard, and I've moved across half the world and back, no matter what, I want to be where God wants me to be. Even if being a MK, TCK, and PK is hard, I will endure it forever. Even if things happen and change. If sometimes I loose a close friend, or get into a fight, I'm still happy. And I want you all to think about this. Really hard...

And last but not least, I want to thank you for being such a wonderful friend all the time. For comforting me when I was down, and telling me not to be emo. For just being yourself, and you sure are amusing! And just having you with me surely has been a pleasure! And no matter what, I always want to be your friend. I love you, Sarah! *sigh* I truly do.

oh yea. And I'm sorry -whoever was there at first (in Sarah's place)- but I guess things will never be the same again. I still love you though and still want to be your friend...