it's a...

dream?
storybook?
fairy tale?

oh lalala

ignore me. get to the point.

I feel useless these days. Like it's this dream, storybook, or fairy tale which is really living. Dead. Behind in everything except the drama. Especially in work. I want to blend into the wall, and work hard. But my blending in isn't good enough. Never can I focus and work. There are always temptations and distractions all around us.

Speaking of distractions and temptations. I will just have to be honest and admit that last week I didn't do quiet time. I'd wake up and fall back to sleep. By the time I'm finally awake it's time to eat breakfast. During youth group on Saturday I was convicted. We learned how to start quiet time. Well, I got on fire again. I couldn't wait to have time with God the next morning.

Guess what? Satan was still trying to get me out of this quiet time business. The next morning (yesterday) I got sick. I was coughing with a sore throat and running nose. The thought, "oh just forget about quiet time" echoed through my mind. But I then realized that this was a distraction. Satan is trying to get me out of this quiet time business. I endured it and had a great time with the Lord.

And today, yea, I'm sick also. But I still endured it and spent time with God. It was hard though. It's hard to try spending time with God at 6 am in the morning with a sore throat. Just trying to sing softly makes my throat scream for water.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Maybe it's a fairytale or any of the above, but it's still happening. Let's take it as it comes.