Saturday, January 1, 2011

Dear Diary,

It's amazing how fast a year flies by, and before I know it, this new year will be over. But despite the speed of time, I thank God for every new year that I've celebrated, for it is a memory of the year that I just lived. Therefore, on this glorious sunny day of January 1, 2011 (o1.o1.11), I look back on everything that has happened the year before - either good or bad, they have the fingerprints of God smudged all over them.

2010 started off well - me, being the determined girl that I am, was determined to make the year count. I started off with a profound list of resolutions, only to the number 8, but nevertheless, profound (as I just mentioned). You can read them: here. January was a month of transition, moving to the new school building, become one of the "older" ones in school, stuff like that. I was scared, having no idea what to expect out of the year. But I was determined to make the best of the year, and I did.

One particular thing that stands out was my determination to have discipline. I was determined I would say no to unnecessary things, use my time wisely, and not get into things that would pressure me. The year before (2009), I had been so involved in all sorts of activities, I found myself so emotionally and mentally worn out. It wasn't pleasant. I didn't handle my time very well, and continuously was denied permission to go out with my friends because of it. 2010, I swore, would be different.

And it was. I learned to say no to activities, outings - simple stuff that simply weren't necessary. Or simply too much than I could handle. It wasn't easy, I had to give up certain things I would have loved to do. But in the end, I learned how to manage my time better, balance work and fun, and my parents were more willing to say yes when I asked them if I could go out.

As I look back on my 2010, what shocks me is how far I've gone academically. I started off the year in the middle of 10th grade, thinking I still had two more years to go in high school. Since my sister was in the middle of her transition from high school to college life, I begin to seriously think about my own future. One evening, my sister and I started talking about it, and an hour later, all my plans had been shifted prestigiously. Looking back at the schedule she made for me, it continues to shock me that I actually accomplished it! I had to finish 11th grade by the end of the year (which seemed pretty impossible, for at that time I was still at 9th grade for Science and History), take my SAT in October, and balance school work with college applications. Well, I did it. I really did!

If I could pin point the exact time when I felt I went through major change, it would be October 2010. Even as the month approached, it continuously daunted me that this month would change everything for me. My comfortable routine of high school days would be broken. With all these thoughts in mind, I still was quick to invite October to my doorstep. I wanted change! I was getting tired of the regular routine anyways. Well, change was what I got. My days dragged on, practice tests kept me busy, and the college search started.

The last two months of 2010 has proved to be the busiest yet. November started off with me sitting for my SAT, which is definitely a once in a lifetime experience for me. (Who knows, you guys may sit for it more than once.) I went back to school, to be thrown headfirst into a series of end-of-school activities and preparations. We all know its practically impossible to accomplish a big sum of school work in a month like November. Well, I didn't have much of a choice. I had to finish 8 books (4 Science and 4 History) in the little over 2 weeks I had left. I'm talking about 11th grade here. I have no idea how in the wide world I did it, but I put in all my effort, free time, a little midnight oil, plenty of prayer, LPTs at the back of the main sanctuary during practices, but I pulled through.

Going back to that schedule my sister made for me, I knew it would be hard. It still is. But, going through everything I went through in the year of 2010 (and I'm not talking about only academics here), I've come out as a much more confident person. Confidence not only in myself, but in someone much greater. You see, I didn't do all this, I didn't survive all this, by my own strength. No, there was someone greater giving me the strength, the courage, the love, the discipline to pull through all the hard times of this year. Which brings me to my favorite Bible verse of all times, still written on the wall of my old room:

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13

I want you to know that whatever you set your heart on is possible. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will grant you the desires of your heart. He will give you the strength to accomplish what seems impossible in men's eyes. He will be faithful through it all, He will pull you through. The first step is trust.

As I head into the new year, I'm uncertain of all the details that this year holds. I know this will be a time of transition for me, finishing 12th grade, moving to USA, starting college, and all that is installed for me. Its a scary place to enter, unknown territory. There will be laughter and tears, good and bad times alike. But despite it all, one thing I'm certain of, my God will remain faithful. If God is for me, who can be against me?

Have a wonderful 2011. :)

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