So I'm not black, I'm not white. I'm barely even yellow. I don't speak my native language. I can only speak one language. I didn't grow up in my native country. I'm a TCK (third-culture kid), PK (pastor's kid) and MK (missionary's kid) all in one. I didn't even stay in one place long enough to finish elementary school at one school. I grew up in New England. I lived on the equator in Asia. I love the South and am a country girl. I skipped middle school. I was home schooled. I finished high school at the age of 16. I've flown on airplanes more than any other public transportation system combine. I moved out of my parent's home also at age 16 to start my life all alone in a state university I'd never been to and didn't know a single person in the radius of 6 hours.
Just last Friday, I was reading a book review about a book that was "written very specifically to Christian, conservative home schooled girls." And while I fit into that category, I don't at the same time. I went to a PK camp a few years back. Sure there were some things that the PKs shared in common with me, but at the same time, my extremely varied demographics made us far from similar. And although I fit into a lot of broad demographic categories, all my other demographics that are so diverse and unique make me completely different.
This is for you.
You, out there in the big world, wondering where you fit in. You, in the quiet of your room, questioning where you belong. You, wondering if there is someone out there that is exactly like you. You, crying unseen tears, when no one understands why you're so different. You, trying so very hard to conform into your society. You, exhausted from trying to be someone you're not. This message is for you.
There's not going to be anyone else with a similar life story as you. Stop trying to fit in. Stop trying to be someone you're not. Embrace your uniqueness. Take pride in it. Take your identity from it. Know that there are others that are in the same boat as you too. We form the demography of the demographically-varied. We're so unique but we're similar in the sense that there's no one else like us.
I was there once. I used to question whether I was American or Asian. I discovered that I was neither. I used to try to fit in. "PKs, let's have a camp!" And I would be the first one to signed up because I wanted to be able to fit into one category. Just one. Home-schoolers, over here! And I would run over. TCKs, this book is for you. And I would be reading it straight away. Only to discover that I wasn't like all the other PKs, I wasn't like all the other home-schoolers, and the TCK book wasn't even close to relevant.
In all that searching, in all that trying to belong, I stumbled across something.
Me.
And I realized that was enough.
2 comments:
Great post, Hazel! Everyone feels that sense of not fitting in; the awful feeling of not being accepted. I mean, I'm white, I was homeschooled the whole way through, I was born and raised 100% in America, and I had severe acceptance issues for years! It wasn't until I met some amazing teenagers who accepted me for who I was, and helped me realize that my identity lies in Christ, that I found peace. So I can certainly identify with this search for "fitting in", and realizing that it doesn't come by looking for it. The answer lies in looking to Christ, and realizing that He made you exactly the way He wanted. :)
You are so right, as usual! :p Its definitely something we all go through as teens. And I agree 100% that is about finding your identity in Christ and then being confident in that identity to not care where you fit into the world. (Romans 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this world.) It definitely was a struggle for me but looking back now, I'm glad I went through it because I can relate to young teens going through that now.
Post a Comment