it always works out fine.

So here's one of those inspirational post for once. :)

Who knows why, but I'm always in this stage of regrets. Regrets that this and that happens. Feelings that, well if so and so thing or so and so person did not come into my life, everything would be perfect. If nothing changed, I would just be loving life. So, with this thesis in mind, let's check out the circumsatances I've had in life.

Imagine if I could pause all the changes in my life when I was living in Maine. Sure, if that happen, I wouldn't have to experience the sharp sword that went piercing through my heart, and I've never felt the same again. But, I got to see my relatives after a long time, yea?

Imagine if I could pause my life when I was back here and was homeschooling at home. That way, I wouldn't have to attend GRC, and I could just continue my social life with just my sis. Me and my sis. My sis and I, and no one else. No GRC, no fitting in having to be done. BUT, it worked out after all. I meet, all of you guys.

Imagine if I could pause last year before this year came. You know, that period of time at the beginning of this year when there was cliques, when the peaceful and happy world of GRC was bombarded with new people. Man, I hated it. I didn't want anything to change. I wanted last year, I wanted it to be the same - never changing. But, imagine. No Matthew, Calvin, Brandon, Gong. GRC wouldn't be complete.

I never really understand my own self. I've gone through so many changes in my entire life, much more than a typical person would go through. But no matter what the number of changes I've been through, I'm always wishing that time could pause and we could go on living without all the changes. But, when I look back, they all benefited me, and it's all made me a better person. It's always worked out fine.

Sure, there's the pain that remains inside of me, the pain of all the changes I've been through. So many times, I ask God to remove it, but he doesn't. I finally understood why. If he were to remove that sharp sword of pain that's pierced into my heart, I would forget that MY GOD has been faithful. Are you getting me? If he were to take away that pain, I would forget that he always takes me through my difficult times. I would forget, and next time.. I wouldn't be so sure of his faithfulness.

Let me end off this. Yesterday, we were going to church, and I was thinking about my future. I was wondering what was ahead of me. What the end of this year would bring, what next year would bring, what the days, weeks, months, and years ahead of me would bring. Changes always happen, and I hate to except them. Then suddenly, such confidence flooded me, and I thought..

"You know what, no matter what's ahead, what's installed for my life.. I know my God's in charge... and it has always worked out fine."

Yes, it's always worked out fine.

So Zoe, I know you are thinking that you will hate Australia, and you don't want to go. I really understand you, because I've been through that too. But one day, I guarantee, you will love it. It'll always work out fine.

After all, wasn't I the girl who thought I would hate Malaysia, I would never EVER fit in, I would dread it, and I would live all the rest of my days in this dreaded place being miserable?

Well, check out the living contradiction. :D